The 8 Reasons Why Men Withdraw
When you are learning how to please a man or you find yourself wondering how to keep him happy, there are a number of important relationship guidance tips that you’ll need to adhere to. Attracting a man is the easiest part of all, the hardest part is keeping him from withdrawing from you.
By reading on to learn more, you can develop a greater understanding of the reasons why men will withdraw from a relationship and avoid issues like these in the future. The real love test takes place once the infatuation phase has worn off and you are forced to confront each other’s faults, so be sure to keep reading, so that you can steer clear of the withdrawal problems that plague so many other relationships.
- He Doesn’t Trust You
Trust is one of the most crucial components in any relationship, romantic or otherwise and once it has gone, it is very difficult to bring it back. For most men, once they have decided that you are not a trustworthy person, they will begin the process of slowly withdrawing from you completely.
This is not done with malicious intent, as the man is merely trying to protect himself from potential hurt and sadness. Being trustworthy is not about making proclamations about how he should believe in you, it is about displaying consistency over a certain length of time and allowing his trust in you to grow organically.
If he cannot be his true self with you, then his trust for you will not grow and he will seek the company of others who allow him to let his guard down. When you are wondering how to keep a boyfriend interested in you, this is one of the best ways to do it. The more he feels as though he can trust you, the less likely he is to withdraw from the relationship before it has had a chance to truly blossom.
- You’re Too Argumentative
A woman who is argumentative will struggle to keep men from withdrawing from her, as an argumentative nature signals a deeper unhappiness. When there is repetitive fighting taking place and the man feels as if he is unable to keep the woman happy, he is more likely to retreat from the situation and try to find someone who is much easier to get along with.
This is especially true for women who find themselves picking fights about topics that he has little to no control over. For example, let’s say that you’ve decided to fight with him for the umpteenth time about his work schedule and how it deprives the two of you from being able to spend time together. If he cannot reasonably make changes, this will make him feel helpless and when a man feels helpless, he typically withdraws.
Men are problem solvers by nature and a woman who consistently argues over the same issues, especially those that do not have an immediate solution, is someone who he is not going to want to spend time with. A solution oriented woman who is willing to work alongside of him to solve potential problems is much more likely to win his heart than someone who is argumentative.
- Putting Up Walls
For those of us who have been hurt in the past, the concept of putting up an emotional wall to keep yourself from experiencing the same sort of suffering in the future is definitely understandable. But when a man feels as if he is not going to be able to climb over these walls and eventually develop a strong connection with you is not going to stick around for very long or continue to invest time in getting to know you.
Put yourself in the shoes of the man that you wish to grow closer to. Would you find it fair if he made you jump through a million hoops to prove his worthiness? Probably not, so why would you ever behave in such a manner and expect the desired outcome to take place. It is no one’s job to “earn” you.
If you want your relationship to work and you want to keep him from withdrawing from you, then you will need to let your guard down and accept that there is a chance you could get hurt. He is taking the very same chance by growing closer to you and if he feels as if these efforts are not being reciprocated, he is much more likely to lose interest.
- He Is Fighting Feelings of Shame
In some instances, a woman can make a man to experience intense feelings of shame and when these feelings arise, they threaten his ability to function as a fighter and a protector. These feelings could stem from insensitive statements that you have made about him in the past or he may be experiencing feelings of inadequacy because he does not like the current position that his life is in.
While these feelings can stem from factors that have very little to do with your actions and cause him to withdraw, these feelings can also stem from your own thoughtless words. If you find yourself criticizing him on a consistent basis, you are eroding his ability to enjoy the relationship, which will cause the connection to fade in short order.
Should you sense that he is fighting through shame and feelings of inadequacy and you wish to provide comfort, this can a long way towards reassuring him that you are not someone who he will need to withdraw from. If he feels like he is a letdown to you, this may cause him to pull away.
- Lack of Communication
We’ve all had moments in life where frustrations start to build up inside of us and come pouring out in one epic onslaught. If you are wondering how to get him to open up and keep him from withdrawing, avoiding instances like the one described above is certainly in your best interests.
Buildups like those only happen in relationships where both parties are not communicating with each on a regular basis and allowing problems to fester. Women who do not communicate their needs in a clear and concise fashion can cause their partner to withdraw, as they will begin to believe that they do not have a true connection with you.
A connection should not ever be assumed and you should never assume that he can read your mind. If there is something that is bothering you or something that needs to be addressed, it is your responsibility to bring it up in a manner that is conducive to proper discussion. Waiting until you’re ready to explode will only cause the discussion (and the relationship) to end poorly.
- Failure To Listen
The idea that men do not want to talk about their thoughts and feelings is a very outdated one and when he has decided to open up and speak to you, the worst thing that you could do is interrupt him or make him feel as if you are not really listening to him. Feeling like someone doesn’t care about what you are trying to tell them is enough to make anyone withdraw from a relationship and a romantic connection is no different.
Men are not clueless, they are very perceptive and while they may not call you out on certain behaviors right away, they will internalize your inability to listen and subtly start making plans to withdraw from you entirely. This is especially true if he initiates the conversation.
If you are the one who starts the conversation, then it is your job to set a tone that is positive and happy. When you set the right tone for the conversation, you are encouraging future conversations and allowing the bond between the two of you to be strengthened. One bad conversation along these lines could be enough to make him question the long term viability of your relationship.
- He’s No Longer Into You
While there are often reasons for his withdrawal that do not have anything to do with his feelings towards, there are a number of instances where his withdrawal simply means that he’s just not that into you anymore. This can be a difficult prospect to fathom for many of us, which is why we will make excuses for the person’s sudden disappearance.
He may have decided that there are a wide range of areas where the two of you are incompatible or he may have met someone else whose company he prefers to yours. Scenarios like these typically mean that he is withdrawing because he does not see a future relationship for the two and you will be best served by allowing him to distance himself from you in a quiet manner.
Don’t fall into the trap of coming up with reasons for his departure. It is certainly not impossible for him to overcome feelings of doubt that he may have towards you, but it is also not your responsibility to come up with reasoning for them. In some cases, you’ll just have to accept that he doesn’t care anymore and move on as quickly as possible.
- You’re Rushing Him
While this scenario might not be as problematic as the aforementioned one, it will also spell inevitable doom in any romantic relationship. If he feels as if you are trying to move the relationship along a little too quickly for his liking, he will find a way to pump the brakes and he is not going to ask for your permission to do so.
Fortunately, there are ways to stem this tide if you feel him starting to pull away from the relationship before it has had a chance to develop. If your female intuition is telling you that you are driving him away from you, take a step back and give him some space before it is too late. Showing him that you are in tune with his feelings keeps him from withdrawing.
Directly communicating your understanding of his needs also helps immensely. If he knows that you are not trying to pressure him into a relationship before he is actually ready, you can avoid a withdrawal. Offering him the space he needs is not a guarantee that he will change his mind about potentially withdrawing from you, but it does allow him to proceed with the appropriate knowledge in mind.
As you can see, men withdraw for a number of reasons, some of which may make sense to you, some of which may not. While men are often portrayed to be the simpler sex, there is a great deal of complexity to each of them and it behooves women who want to learn how to keep their relationship going to seek out relationship guidance. Otherwise, you may struggle to keep him interested over the long haul.